Overcoming Anxiety and Depression with The Naked Philosophy with Vanessa Louise

In this ep 107 Vanessa and I discuss ‘being naked’ so we can strip back the stories that keep us stuck in the perpetuating patterns of struggle and longing for more. Enabling us to connect to and heal the pain we harbor in our hearts so we live our lives with confidence, purpose and joy.

TRANSCRIPT

Hell yes you spiritual badass. The Play button you just hit brought you into a world of your own magic where you can be do and have anything where the possibilities are endless and you are limitless. I'm Jenessa. Mackenzie, your guide on this journey and NLP practitioner, Master mindset Coach and an intuitive and lunar living expert. Join me in mixing the woo with the dude to elevate you to be the best version of you that you can be raise the collective consciousness to a higher frequency so we all rise, and many, many future generations continue to rise to unlearn all the bullshit that we've been taught and conditioned to believe and shift into the next paradigm of truth. And to walk along the spiritual path, whatever that looks like for you to find more love, light, joy and gratitude. I'm sharing all the knowledge I have and will continue to acquire to help you to live the best possible life of abundance growth and self love. You can manifest your dreams, you can create your own incredible reality. You are meant for more you deserve more. You can be do have whatever you want, because you are limitless. You are a spiritual badass. Let's do this everyone, welcome back to the spiritual badass podcast. I am here today with Vanessa Louise. Vanessa is an emotional health specialists for the naked coach, or the naked coach. Sorry, not for she is the naked coach. And her naked philosophy is all about helping people heal the hurt within in order to live a happier, more fulfilled loving lives because she believes that feeling is the secret to healing. So I am going to hand it over to Vanessa and let her explain to all of us who she is, what she loves. Who she helps, and why.

Oh, big. Thank you, Jenna. Yeah, big question. Thank you for having me. Yeah. My name is Vanessa Louise and I am incredibly passionate about helping people feel their feelings to create the most profound healing within themselves. Why? Because I did this for myself. And I just wanted to share how I've done it because it's an uncanny and uncomfortable, prickly journey. And we know don't we that it's not something you necessarily want to do by ourselves. When I was a little girl, I just wanted to help people feel better about themselves. And why that was what I didn't like the answer to was because I didn't like myself. And I have two amazing parents, a sister who was my best friend, my younger sister. And I couldn't understand why I didn't like myself because I was very, very blessed life and felt truly loved. So that was my my first kind of objection if you like as to why I didn't like myself. So initially, I got into cosmetics from school. Because I thought that would be a really great way to help people feel better about themselves. So I helped women feel better about the skin they were in. I traveled on the cruise line as a facial therapists, I traveled the world, I had all sorts of lovely things happened to me while I was away, I experienced all sorts of unloving things while I was away in my early adult life. And that led me then to setting up my own business with a cosmetic company. And I experienced some brilliant success with that company until my life fell apart in the back end of the 1990s and the early 2000s. And my children were small. And in a very bleak, desperate place in my life, I prayed for a miracle. And that miracle saved my life and the life of another. So from that moment in 2008, I promised myself that I would do everything in my power to live with that miracle. And the miracle that came to me when I prayed, please help me was love and gratitude, and every step and every day as best I can and I don't always measure up. But my intention is to live in love and gratitude as best I can throughout the day. And that was 2008. So a good 14 Or probably 16 odd years ago now. And as a result of doing that my life completely turned around. And as I started growing my old cosmetic business, I was asked how I turned my life around. And I just my reply in the beginning was a choice. I just made a different choice. So of course then we'll watch this did you make How did you make it? What? So because all these questions were coming back at me, I was like gosh, okay, this is yeah, this is something that other people would really like to know about until someone said to me, how do you do what you do with effortless grace and a smile on your face? That really got my attention? And I thought, I think I owe it to answer these questions that are being asked of me nearly every day to give it the thoughts into consideration. And I said to this one lady, you know, gosh, why do you ask that? And she said, because I really like you to help me do the same. Wow. Yeah. So that then made that was back in 2012. And so as a result of that, I learned to meditate, I practiced asking myself the questions How had I done what I've done, How had I freed myself from that desperate, the clutches of pain just it feels so debilitating. And it doesn't mean to say that my life is a better roses by any stretch of the imagination. But I have now experienced some very beautiful highs in my life. And I also know how to deal with the opposite lows in life as well as a result of understanding how I've overcome my adversity. As a result of that I was encouraged them to leave my cosmetic cosmetic world, and step forward as a mentor, and coach and I, organically, this chose me, I didn't choose it would have been the last thing I'd have chosen to speak and write about anything, because I was just I struggled at school and was very shy. So because it found me it was, it's just taken a little bit of time to understand what's being asked of me. But as we know that by stepping forward and showing up each day is the best way to learn. So that's how the naked philosophy was born. Because I bought three or four decades, I'd have the same dream over and over and over again, which I called the naked dream, where I would get caught in my local high street, it had to be my local high street where everybody I knew in my dream was there, and I was naked, and I couldn't cover myself up. And everybody was pointing at me and laughing. And I just felt ashamed and embarrassed and humiliated, which are common low vibe emotions, for me. It used to be and I thought it was because I had body confidence issues. At the time I was most of my life, I've been carrying weight. And after my son, I had to be 16. So I thought it was because I had body confidence issues. When I lost the weight. And I started to turn my life around, I still kept having dream. So in my meditation, I would ask, Why am I having this dream? If it's, if I'm feeling lovely, and myself? And the answer that came back was because it was the fear of showing up as my true self. And that really hit home. I thought, Gosh, who actually is that person anyway, so therefore, my naked journey began. And as I was doing that, for myself, I was just helping other people, men and women do the same. And then so here we are today, as a result of being asked, and following my heart, I've created products and master classes, and I've had conversations and I'm coach and whatever is asked of me, I will do up and show up as best I can to be able to help other people become naked and live a naked life to the naked philosophy. In a nutshell, that's kind of it. That's good. Wise, Dave as my true self. Yeah.

Beautiful. So a couple of things that I'd like to you know, kind of pick out of what you just said was love and gratitude. It's interesting that you had said, you know, like, the shame and the guilt and all of that was low vibe. emote like emotions for you. And they were regular emotions. And then you were but you were asked to sit and live in the two highest vibration. frequencies on the planet in the universe. Really? Yeah,

absolutely. Yeah.

Yeah, exact extremes. Yeah. I mean, your your guys were like, girl, get out of that ditch. Like, what is going on here? Here. Just do this for a little while and we get a raise your vibe quick. I love that. And now I don't remember what the second thing was. But it'll come. So tell me exactly what I mean. You may have in so many words in, in what you just said. But tell me exactly what the naked philosophy is like, what is like just bearing it all. And? Yeah, really? It's interesting. You're looking deep into yourself?

Yeah, definitely. So the naked philosophy in a nutshell, is stripping back the bullshit stories that we believe to be true about ourselves, you know, that head chatter. That story that we've created is rubbish. And it's not true. It We do appreciate that. It's, it's there to protect us, right? But at the same time, it's not helpful or we think it's there to protect us. But naked is to strip back the bullshit stories we believe to be true about ourselves so that we can heal the hurts that we do have it in our hearts, so that we can connect better to our hearts, our true self and show up with confidence, purpose and joy. That's basically, in a nutshell, what the naked philosophy is plain and simple, however, difficult to do and complex because we have veered so far away from our truth over the years. And actually, the truth being the power of love I talk about lots is the energy that turns the world grows the grass and beats our hearts. So if that energy that orchestrates everything in the entire universe is beating my heart, then doesn't it make sense for me to connect to that as best I can, so then I'm in alignment with that power. And therefore that power can then guide me my choices. And every decision I make, as best I can to my ability. I'm human, and my humaneness is flawed, but there is that divine part of me which not. And it's about tapping into that, so that I can feel guided by the truth that would straighten my path, and helped me step off the job in life with courage, but also just with a little bit more effortlessly, rather than relying on my human self manually. That takes, you know, we get exhausted when we rely too much on our physicalness. So let's use that energy that's beating our hearts to our advantage and to to guide us into living a more effortless, more loving, harmonious life, really, we know it exists, we've all had moments where we have felt that we are on the crest of a wave. And we've all had moments where we go, oh, my gosh, if life just stopped now I would be in heaven. Not this is bliss, this is lovely, I'm happy. But those moments are fleeting, and few and far between. So the naked work is about how can we learn to surf on the crest of that wave, and fully appreciate that it will crash on the beach. But that's the cycle of life. And just as the moon comes up after the sun goes down, and vice versa, that that crest of the wave will crash. So how can I align myself so that I can enjoy the crest of the wave deal with life's lows, and know that that cycle will happen? Again, and again. And again?

Yeah, because that's really where the growth happens. It's not at the crest of the wave, it's at the crash.

Absolutely. It's at the crash, where we learn and the growth for certain definitely happens, you know, and that's where our best self is called, to the forefront to lead, we just don't often learn to trust that. But it's also as well, in the joyful euphoria phases in life, where the crest of the wave is experienced, are we fully appreciating that that's life at its best. And that's, again, what fuels us the momentum when it does come crashing down. And it's about learning with learning to deal with and manage and regulate life as it flows through you with its ups and downs. And but we can remain centered. That's the practice. If we can remain centered, then it doesn't matter whether it's up and down, left or right. It just, we just let it flow. Right. And if everyone can start if they haven't this work right now. It serves throughout anything that you're going to do in your life, absolutely anything. Like I started this work when I started my journey in entrepreneurship, right? Which is, you're forced to look at yourself in entrepreneurship. To me, you don't have a choice, like all of your fears, all of your doubts, all of that stuff comes out. When you have to go now put yourself out into the world. Yeah, I mean, I didn't start as a as a storefront, I started online coaching too. So when you're, you know, have to be bare naked. Right? In front of, you know, the internet, even though you don't see people watching you, you know, they're watching. And, you know, just being afraid of what Naked and Afraid, right of what they're gonna think, or say or do and then I remember when I just said, I don't care. No, absolutely. I love that. And that, for me is what vulnerability is because I think vulnerability is the biggest obstacle into being metaphorically, emotionally naked. Right. It's the fear of what people will say what judgment will come at us. And actually, it doesn't really matter anywhere. I loved it when Wayne Dyer said, What'd you think of me is none of my business. Yes. And he used to say to his kids, I don't care whether that person likes you or not, I care whether you like you. And vulnerability is ix Pressing yourself, your true self, your heart, your mind, your thoughts, your feelings, your experience in that moment, learning how to express yourself through language, which can be tricky because feelings don't have language, but learning how to express yourself in that moment, regardless of the response that you will get from the outside world and other people. And it's not that you don't care, you don't care, I don't care about you, I'm just not going to allow what you think of me to hinder or affect how I choose to love myself. And I'm only going to know who I truly am. If I've put myself in situations where I give myself the opportunity to truly understand myself better, and how I came so far off my center, that pain has got that bad that I am now being forced to look at this. So I'm going to choose to do that which comes back to why it's so important to have people around you that love you encourage you. And we've all got people in our lives, whether they're your own children, or your best friend's parents, or beautiful work colleagues, that will love you regardless. Because they know that their intentions are pure, they're good. You just want to grow. And just like a baby will get up and fall over many times before they actually learn to walk. That's the importance of loving yourself enough that that will happen. And how can I help myself get up again, but also really surrounding yourself as best you can do when you need a couple of people need a whole army? But just that will support you

in an army isn't bad either.

You've got that great, but not very many people do. Which is why it's like I don't have anyone around me quite well, the you've got yourself. So yes. Because ultimately, that's what it is, is how can we communicate with ourselves our truest, self better, more regularly, so that I can continue to evolve?

Yeah, and another freedom comes from all that kind of in between. So exactly what you said, when I say I don't care doesn't mean that I don't care about anything. It just means that I don't care what you think of what I'm doing. If I'm, if I feel aligned in in that, that I'm going to do it. If it's a mistake for me, then I'm going to learn from it. Absolutely. I didn't fail. I didn't do anything wrong. I learned a lesson

that absolutely. And I think also as well, understanding that when we do step forward, because that's our intention is to learn and to grow, is almost like we create this bubble around us where anything that comes at us just doesn't get through. Does that make sense? So when I do step out in courage doesn't feel like it before I do it. But when I do step out in that courageous place, I am naturally protected. Because I'm Maya, I've empowered myself and I'm my own source of comfort, it doesn't matter then what anybody else says or does around. And but that takes practice. Like none of this is easy, simple, but it's not easy. Because there there are not that many people, you know, willing to do this kind of work. So that's why it's important to speak up so that we can be in contact like you and I have met because this is a passion of ours. We want to keep growing and we want to help people do the same.

Right? And then there's there's a whole nother thing, right. So it's great to do the work on yourself. And it's deep work and it's ever evolving. And it's always going to be happening. Yes. And then we choose to take that and then go help others. Yeah. Which is like a whole nother level of work that we have to do again, on a different level.

Yeah, it's constant. I love what you said. It's, it's ever evolving. It's all encompassing, it's ever evolving. We cannot not do this work. And I think once we get our head around that I've got a saying that it's there's nowhere to get to and it's never done. The moment that's done, we're dead, right, we pass over. But while we're breathing, there is always work to be done. Just like you can't wash on a Monday and still smell fresh on Sunday. We need to keep you know, and especially if you've done sports or something then you you know, but that that that analogy just helps us understand that. If I keep fighting this, I'm thinking I've got to kind of transform once in inverted commas and I'm good to go. You know, nature is the best demonstrator and the best example of this goes through its seasons, then it will go back round again. Do you think the tree says oh my god Spring is here? Great, does it Yeah, it just does it or like it's stripped bare in winter. And it's like, oh, I don't want to be hit. Appreciate. So by the process. It has a conscience, right? But it's the this as soon as we can just get in alignment with the flow. And I also appreciate that I teach What I need to hear the most, I share what I need to do the most. So I don't ever share from a place of I know what I'm talking about a show from a place of this is my experience. And because I've only ever learned my stuff or where I am or felt things resonate with me because of other people sharing, when we listen to podcasts, or books or interviews or seminars, or even if you're just in conversations with your mates, you learn because other people share, and who are we then to deny anybody else, I would still want people to still share with me. So I learned, so therefore, I'll keep sharing. And as long as it's kind of not for your own agenda and meaning me, I think, if we can understand and make sure that there is an invitation by the people, and it can be, you know, a conversation.

Right? Yeah. I mean, how we learn. That's multi faceted right there, right? I mean, yes, we, I share I love to, you know, scroll through the things and be like, Oh, wow, that's amazing. And then you kind of reflected on yourself and go, Huh, you know, like feel into it and say, you know, is this something some kind of work that I need to do? Like, did I see this message today? For Reason? Did it make me it made me feel something? So what does that mean for me?

Yeah, is it does it resonate, and I say that a lot, especially as a speaker, before I do any kind of speaking of masterclasses, please don't listen to me today, don't just listen to me. Listen to how what you hear today resonates with you. That's what I'm asking if my role is to make myself obsolete. Because at the end of the day, we are the only one we can rely on. And if we've got other people in our lives, we can rely on bonus, it's the icing on the cake, or the cherry on top. But ultimately, we are the only ones that are responsible for, you know, creating the lives as we wish other people can contribute and influence it for sure. But yeah, learning how to communicate with yourself is, is the key for me, I found.

Yeah, most people will come to us already open to doing some of the work at least Right? Or at least they're like they're ready to at least explore what that work might look like for

them. Yeah, I think totally, because whenever I've done any work with anybody else, whether that is my visible higher power, or whether that is a girlfriend or a coach, I cannot see the label of John is a phrase I use a lot. So therefore, I need life. I need other people. And I need to be open to that. But I need that reflection back to me. Because I can't see the label of German. So if I am looking at my life, what's that reflecting back to me, that is the next place that I need to work on I need to heal when I'm in conversation with others, especially what triggers you Oh, my gosh, if that is not the greatest learning, I don't know what it is. Yeah. When we're in conversation with, yeah, we're triggered by somebody, whether what they say or they do or how they behave that triggers us, the first place that we look at is why why am I triggered by that? Because that is a wound that I need to look at. So in actual

fact, I constantly say that to myself, if I if I get I call them unprepared emotions. I call them negative or more positive, because literally our brains don't know. It doesn't like, click if it's negative or positive. Our brain doesn't follow only our body does. Yes, exactly. So I'm always saying that to myself, if I get a if I am feeling and I'm preferred emotion, I'm like, why is that? What's that telling

me? Yeah. What's that telling

me? Yeah, well, that's the next thing that I obviously need to dig into and, and work on and examine exactly

the evidence. Yeah, the evidence. That is the fact that it's here. You know, we can route around, but actually, why don't we just deal with what's present? Because that's what our energy is asking us to look at. Yeah, I would like you to do with this now.

Yes, exactly. And it won't come up until we're ready to deal with it.

Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. And we're very much aren't we in a place right now with the way the world is? We're so being asked to look at the big deep stuff right now. Oh, yeah. The station's we're having Yeah, what we're noticing for sure. Now, which is exciting. Yeah.

Yeah. So if anyone is listening right now, Vanessa, that does it is isn't open to even working on themselves and but they already can't even say that they feel stuck I guess but they probably feel something isn't. There's there's more there's something isn't. Right. Right either.

Language David, isn't it? Yeah, that's the way I used to use that language, something doesn't feel right. Something's off, like, you know, is that frustration if you recognize it for,

like, I'm angry all the time, or I'm sad all the time, or I feel stuck, or you know, all these things, but they just don't know how to get out of it. And their mind is hasn't been open to these possibilities. Yeah. What would you say to to that person?

Oh, it's such a good question. I love it. I think the other place to recognize is, you know, even if people don't recognize that they're experiencing their own preferred I love the emotions are that pattern is actually Are you perhaps looking outside of your life and thinking, Why have they got that I wish I had, that's another indicator. Okay. So what would I say to that person? I think first and foremost, becoming yourself, please, you are with you. 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year. And if you are not kind to yourself, and if you are not compassionate with yourself, then no one else is going to be likely no one else is going to be you're very blessed. If however, I'm lovely, you are to yourself and still got someone thinks you're the best thing since sliced bread, then you are a very blessed individual. But generally speaking, be kind to yourself, I think that was my greatest learning is I was beating myself up talking to myself, like the shite off the bottom of my shoe, I wouldn't talk to my worst enemy, the way I would speak to myself and how I treated myself. I think it's, I think it's important to Yeah, first of all, be kind to yourself, but can you perhaps be open to living a little bit more in your imagination? If you as a little kid, were anything like me? No, I think most kids, they imagine play, they make up stories we have made up friends, imaginary friends, we would daydream about all sorts of stuff, especially while we may be in school, and we don't want to do the boring, asked to do with Daydream out the window. Or you might just kind of find your mind wandering, go there a little bit more. And just allow yourself to just because if you cannot imagine what it would be like to live lovingly, whatever your word is, happily, lovingly, harmoniously, confidently, we all have different labels on what we understand to be the truth, but we have different labels. If you cannot live and play that out in your imagination, you will never experience it in your material, I was gonna say real life. But real life with a small arm. The reality with a big R capital R is is in our energetic place in our imagination. So play a little bit more with it, then the reason I say that is because no one knows what you're doing. It doesn't appear in a bubble above your head. So people aren't going to point out and go, Oh, she's clearly living a dream life, because that's not what she's living now. You know, and it's play with that a little bit more. And I think, ultimately, if we can practice that, and just start maybe engaging in different conversations, and concentrate on on trying the things that you really enjoy doing more of what you really enjoy. If that stroking your cat, please do more of that. Because it's ultimately we want to start feeling better about ourselves. If you don't get enough sunshine, get out in the day, and you don't have no got sunshine in the UK. To be fair. This get outside, even if you're just outside the front door and stand on the front doorstep for a couple of minutes. And I've always encouraged my kids, please just do more of what you enjoy being the joy of what you do. And the rest will occur from that place. There's no point in trying to drag yourself through life because you think you should begin with smaller things, you know, reading comics, or then a dancing to your favorite tune anymore, whatever it might be drinking a really beautiful cup of coffee, you know, whatever it is just do more of it. But do it intentionally because you want to encourage yourself to experience more of the lovely things that bring you joy. And just begin there you have got to leap up the whole staircase, right? Because there is no way to get to it's never done. Just love. Just enjoy practicing in your own imagination and just try and just be a little bit more present in that. And the rest will open up for you.

Yeah, I if you can imagine it, it can happen. Absolutely. Because you wouldn't get the thoughts or the ideas if they weren't possible. Love that. And being present in that moment, like when you're drinking that cup of coffee, like when you said intentional. I think just bringing yourself back to this present moment right here. Nothing else. No worries, your problems, whatever it is. What are you grateful for right this second? Yeah. And even if it's just, I'm breathing.